When It Goes.

Sometimes you wake and it’s missing. Like it was a dream. Not real, just a figment of your imagination. It can go with a flourish and a flounce in a suitably dramatic sort of way. For some it never arrives. People live without hope. They exist. Each day is a dull repetition of the previous. On the days off they may drink to numb the reality. They work to pay bills and be able to drink to forget. This is a very common existence.

Some people work long hours in high pressured jobs to earn a good salary. They congratulate themselves on how hard they work and feel suitably entitled to sit in judgement of others whom they feel don’t. Hope is not a option with them. They earn their life. Good luck to them. Not that luck enters into it.

And then there’s the hopeful. We aspire to a better life. We feel like a piece is missing. We work hard but never quite achieve the same level of security. We hope that one day we will get a break. It could be financial, socially or even emotionally. You see we long to find the piece. when we have it and it’s in place, everything will be fine. Except I fear that it won’t be. Because another piece will go missing in the meantime. It’s frustrating but more than that we lose the very thing that keeps us going. We lose hope. A bit like a missing sock. You all know how annoying that can be.

Without hope, the hopeful are empty. We have no direction, no purpose and no reason. Without hope there is nothing. The other pieces disappear as if they have never existed. The really hard part is that hope vanishes without warning. No preparation possible or a chance to see it walk off into the sunset. It’s just not there.

Without hope you are hopeless. It is similar to being of no use, in other words useless. And what is a person worth that is hopeless ? I will leave you to fill in the missing word.

So where does hope go? Does it evaporate like steam or slip through the cracks in pavements and floorboards? Is it stolen by an aspirationally driven Robin Hood redistributing your hope to others in need of some. Why do they need it more than me? Who are they?

How can you find hope when all seems lost. That is the really big question. I find hope in the words of others. I find hope when I least expect it and don’t deserve it. Hope finds me but never seeks to change me. That’s a real shame in some ways. I guess I’m destined to lurch from living with and without hope. I have only faith in other human beings and that hope will return when it’s ready to. I will not rely on any god to show me. I am alone without hope. That loneliness is temporary. It only exists whilst hope is gone. When hope returns, I am not alone.

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