It’s illogical. Why would you be angry when there’s nothing to be angry at, about, for, with. At the point of opening your eyes and feeling pissed off, well something must be wrong. Except I can’t remember a dream that may have crossed over. You know those dreams where you wake up and wonder if it was real? Well it’s not that, at least if it was I can’t remember it.
Did I go to sleep angry? Is it an extension of the previous day. Feeling content is not a feeling I experience very often. Content is for other people. Content could mean complacency and what have I got to be complacent about ?
But what have I got to be angry about first thing on a Sunday morning. Anger is destructive and can be born of frustration or a stress response (which is often being caused by not having control of your destiny etc blah blah ). Anger is also a motivational trigger that can propel you towards achieving unfinished tasks and resolving unfinished issues. So it’s not all bad then.
Is it equally weird to wake up content. To open your eyes and feel at one with the world. To look around and be happy with the world as it is? Isn’t there a pinch of smugness or self satisfaction in that ?
Shit, I don’t know. I just know that I opened my eyes and was angry. Am angry still actually. Might well be angry when I go to bed tonight. Maybe it’s karma? Maybe it’s excess caffeine? Maybe it’s the crushing realisation of my insignificance.
I used to be interested in football enough to support a team from arms length but now football is not worth it. Having said that I was a Leeds Utd supporter so maybe that has scarred me for life!
I rarely drink nowadays and consume more coffee. Please let it not be down to coffee. Don’t tell me decaf tastes as good. You know it’s missing something when you drink it. No buzz and ever so slightly less good than proper coffee.
Anyway I must go. I have a wall to shout at and teenagers to grumble about (even though they are lovely, talented and funny).