So often, we look on at those who make judgements based on prejudice. We forget that we all carry around prejudices and that they shape our view of the world. Decisions are sometimes based on what others will think if we make them. In amongst all this, doing what’s right can get lost. I don’t want to you think I’m getting all biblical as doing the right thing is far from a religious speciality.
So what should be the guidelines for doing the right thing? Is it purely based on how we would want to be treated? To some extent, this is a good starting point. It reduces different cultures and races down to just one. The problem with using this premise is that it depends on how you feel about yourself. We look at some who abuse positions of power or perpetrate acts of extreme cruelty and wonder how they could rationalise such behaviour. The labels psychopath and sociopath are often misunderstood. Someone who exhibits traits of either aren’t mentally ill but are sometimes described as having personality disorders. A psychopath is someone who displays no empathy, is unable to distinguish between right and wrong, lacks the ability to love and is egocentric. A sociopath has a conscience and knows right from wrong but is unable to stop themselves hurting or abusing others. How can a psychopath or sociopath ever do the right thing?
The present war in Ukraine is a horrifying spectacle that has had far reaching consequences. Hundreds of thousands of people have fled the country, seeking refuge in other countries. The general response of people has been to offer help, accommodation to those that have been forced to flee. The war in Syria also created a massive humanitarian crisis yet, the response from Europe was more patchy. Was this purely a racial bias or is Syria further away and consequently less relevant to those in Northern Europe? The response from the UK government and Conservative party members has been less welcoming than from other European countries. For some, refugees are an unwelcome burden to place on our country. Why can’t they go somewhere else? These politicians repeatedly forget that the UK is made up of immigrants, many of whom have been fleeing persecution for over a thousand years. We did the right thing by helping them, assimilating them in to our culture, which in turn, evolved and is still evolving.
I try to do right by others. I often fall short of their expectations but this is not because I don’t want to do the right thing. Being a father and partner aren’t always easy. Children however grown up, will always see their parents as the parents we had as young children. We feel many of the same feelings we experienced growing up even though we know we are older as are they. We may have more grown up conversations but often the dynamics are more of a constant. I used to think I knew what I wanted for my children in adulthood. Decency, kindness, hard work, caring. They are noble traits to possess but can be very hard to maintain. I am less of the person than I want to be despite being loved and treated as an equal. I could be more than I am so why should I expect my children to be better than me?
Doing the right thing is therefore both a personal and societal aspiration. If we as individuals, try to be good, decent people who care about others, maybe that will steer our society’s approach to bigger issues. There will always be those who care for themselves alone and politicians that tap into that selfishness. There will always be mistrust of others by people who see language, race, gender differences as the defining characteristics.
I am trying to wean myself off the desire to be constantly up to date with the news cycle. I find much of it to be utterly miserable and the response of powerful, woefully inadequate. This ostrich mentality makes me less informed than before but how much can one person take on when also dealing with their own lives ? Maybe doing the right thing is like being environmentally conscious. By recycling, cutting my dependence on fossil fuels, reducing my consumerism; I can do my part in combating climate change. It is a tiny speck but billions of those specks make a bigger mark. I can’t therefore wait for others to discover a conscience and sense of responsibility but just work on my own. If more of us did the right thing, we could improve the lives of those who struggle or flee horrors we cannot imagine. We need to return to collectivism and reduce the power of individualism. Like many woolly liberals of my generation in the UK; we blame Margaret Thatcher for this change. She was suspicious of the concept of society and encouraged the promotion of self. I now realise that she merely tapped into the consciences of those who did not like putting the needs of the many before those of the individual.
Thatcher was fundamentally wrong and released a generation of followers who have become greed driven, xenophobic and selfish. The response from the opposition has been to throw their arms in the air and despair. Despite the first few years of Tony Blair’s Labour government, where good things were done for the benefit of a broad society; greed, mistrust and an insular attitude have all prevailed. Standing on the doorstep clapping appreciation for NHS workers fighting on the frontline of global pandemic, merely deflects from giving workers real support. It’s a bit like the US phrase ‘sending our thoughts and prayers’. It means nothing will be done to prevent another massacre in a school, a needless loss of life in a country other than the US. They are platitudes and do not constitute doing the right thing. Social media is very adept at coming up with a catchy slogan to support those in need but that’s as far as they go. Empty words and slogans.
I carry my inadequacies around with me. They feel heavy at times and I wish others would take them away but I know they have their own. I acknowledge my shortcomings and try to be more like others wish or need me to be. I really do try to do the right thing/things but I won’t get there on every occasion. Falling slightly short is better than never trying even if it does not satisfy fully. Until such time, I’ll keep on keeping on.
The John Linney 